a poem for my stepbrother (currently untitled)
As soon as you say those words,
I forgive you
I know that he influences you
in bad ways to do bad things
I know that he means those hateful words,
but you don't
not you
Not my sweet stepbrother
with your darling eyes of blue
and your scruffy blonde hair,
and your skinny, constantly-growing-taller body
that I used to give piggy-back rides to
when you were still a young boy
I don't need to hear your apology
to know that you don't agree with him
to know that you don't really understand
You're better than him
because you don't have an angry like mine
on your mother's side of the family
You're better than him
because of who your mother is
and who her closest sister is
and who our family friends are
and because of who I am
and who I see
that you are, too
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
#31 (aka: This all makes for one happy Girly-fan)
Two very good things have happened in the life of this young Girlyman fan recently:
1. I've finally given up on trying to conform to many other G-man fans and, instead of crushing on Ty (who is attractive, yes, but not really all that much (to me, anyway)), I am proud to proclaim that I have much admiration for the biologically male member of the band, Nate.
2. My mom pre-ordered the band's new CD, "Joyful Sign", for me. Because it's my birthday next week. And even though the CD won't be in my eager hands until the next week, at least I know it's going to be on its way soon. (Thank you again, Mom!)
Linkage: http://www.girlyman.com
1. I've finally given up on trying to conform to many other G-man fans and, instead of crushing on Ty (who is attractive, yes, but not really all that much (to me, anyway)), I am proud to proclaim that I have much admiration for the biologically male member of the band, Nate.
2. My mom pre-ordered the band's new CD, "Joyful Sign", for me. Because it's my birthday next week. And even though the CD won't be in my eager hands until the next week, at least I know it's going to be on its way soon. (Thank you again, Mom!)
Linkage: http://www.girlyman.com
Friday, February 23, 2007
#30 (aka: An amazing moment in time)
*I wrote and posted this on LiveJournal last night. Sorry about all the "Tonight"s -- that's what I used when I posted on LJ, and didn't think to change it. But, you get the same basic gist of what happened anyway.*
Earlier this week I posted about how excited I was to have rented the entire season of "TransGeneration" from Netflix. Well, both discs arrived yesterday, and I watched all eight of the episodes in one evening (some life I have, huh?). This morning, I talked to my father about the possibility of us watching an episode together. The particular episode that I had in mind was the last one, where one of the cast members, Lucas, is graduating from college and has his whole family come from Oklahoma. This "whole family" includes his father. Since Lucas is an FTM, and I am too, and since I've had more issues with my father about this than I have with my mom, I thought it would be something good for us to watch together. Tonight, we did.
With my father and stepmother sitting on one of the couches near the half-wall and the stairs leading down to the basement and my brothers' room, and me reclining in a cushioned rocking chair, we watched the last 50-minute, commercial-free segment of "TransGeneration". I kept waiting for my father to get up and start doing more laundry or something, but he didn't. Tonight, for the second night in a row, I realized that he really does care about this. He really does care that I'm becoming his son. That feels incredible. *I'm tearing up as I write this, by the way... excuse me... * I never thought that my dad and I would start to see eye-to-eye about this. I thought he hated me, or at least this part of me. But maybe now he's starting to see that it's not so terrible that I'm becoming his third son. Or his first son, depending on how you look at it, since I'm the oldest child.
Something that Lucas's dad said in this final episode was, in short, that he quickly realized, upon doing some reading about being a parent of a Transgendered child, that he wasn't alone in feeling that he was mourning the death of a child. But he eventually said something profound: "My daughter just grew up to be a man". I should have looked back to try to see my dad's reaction to that statement, but I didn't. I wish I could have seen if there was any look of revelation or comradery or shock or understanding on my father's face, but if he was affected to the point of showing that kind of emotion facially, I didn't want to risk ruining it by letting him know that I saw it. So I watched the rest of the episode, and shed a couple of tears near the very end when Lucas and his Transbrother Kasey are telling each other how much the other means to him because I know what it's like to love another Transguy as much as they love one another, and then as the credits were rolling I turned to my dad with as much bravery as I could muster and said, "I hope that, someday, we can have the kind of relationship that Lucas and his dad have. That father/son relationship". He asked why, and I replied, "Well, I know that you already have two sons, but I'd just like us to be able to be friends, like you and the boys seem to be. Most of the time". We chuckled a bit about that last remark, and I said, "Do you think that will ever happen?" I didn't give him the time to answer, really. I just waited through the couple seconds of silence before I got up to come into my room. But I know that what I said touched something in my father. For the first time, I think I can finally say that I'm proud to be his son.
Earlier this week I posted about how excited I was to have rented the entire season of "TransGeneration" from Netflix. Well, both discs arrived yesterday, and I watched all eight of the episodes in one evening (some life I have, huh?). This morning, I talked to my father about the possibility of us watching an episode together. The particular episode that I had in mind was the last one, where one of the cast members, Lucas, is graduating from college and has his whole family come from Oklahoma. This "whole family" includes his father. Since Lucas is an FTM, and I am too, and since I've had more issues with my father about this than I have with my mom, I thought it would be something good for us to watch together. Tonight, we did.
With my father and stepmother sitting on one of the couches near the half-wall and the stairs leading down to the basement and my brothers' room, and me reclining in a cushioned rocking chair, we watched the last 50-minute, commercial-free segment of "TransGeneration". I kept waiting for my father to get up and start doing more laundry or something, but he didn't. Tonight, for the second night in a row, I realized that he really does care about this. He really does care that I'm becoming his son. That feels incredible. *I'm tearing up as I write this, by the way... excuse me... * I never thought that my dad and I would start to see eye-to-eye about this. I thought he hated me, or at least this part of me. But maybe now he's starting to see that it's not so terrible that I'm becoming his third son. Or his first son, depending on how you look at it, since I'm the oldest child.
Something that Lucas's dad said in this final episode was, in short, that he quickly realized, upon doing some reading about being a parent of a Transgendered child, that he wasn't alone in feeling that he was mourning the death of a child. But he eventually said something profound: "My daughter just grew up to be a man". I should have looked back to try to see my dad's reaction to that statement, but I didn't. I wish I could have seen if there was any look of revelation or comradery or shock or understanding on my father's face, but if he was affected to the point of showing that kind of emotion facially, I didn't want to risk ruining it by letting him know that I saw it. So I watched the rest of the episode, and shed a couple of tears near the very end when Lucas and his Transbrother Kasey are telling each other how much the other means to him because I know what it's like to love another Transguy as much as they love one another, and then as the credits were rolling I turned to my dad with as much bravery as I could muster and said, "I hope that, someday, we can have the kind of relationship that Lucas and his dad have. That father/son relationship". He asked why, and I replied, "Well, I know that you already have two sons, but I'd just like us to be able to be friends, like you and the boys seem to be. Most of the time". We chuckled a bit about that last remark, and I said, "Do you think that will ever happen?" I didn't give him the time to answer, really. I just waited through the couple seconds of silence before I got up to come into my room. But I know that what I said touched something in my father. For the first time, I think I can finally say that I'm proud to be his son.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
#29 (aka: Feeling a bit... hormonal *wink*)
Testosterone. Might be a big part of my (rather) near future. If you wanna learn more about my particular (read: complicated) situation... leave comments! :D
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
#27 (aka: Darling little rascals)
(Now, I promise that this bit of story will lead into my original topic, because I know sometimes my stories and my initial spark of inspiration don't match up. Anyway...) At my therapy meeting on Thursday, a question that my mom and I both had for the gender specialist was if it would be safe for me to give birth to my own biological child after beginning hormone treatment. She said that, no; it wasn't a good idea, citing some findings that doctors had made about children whose parents were female-bodied people who were taking testosterone before they were conceived. The parents then stopped taking the hormones, with the wellbeing of their child in mind, but the children were still born with birth defects. I never wanted to have my own biological children anyway, so I didn't think it was really an issue anymore.
But, last night, my dad, my stepmom, my stepbrother and I went to a church function where the purpose was to give people food and play games and watch a movie to try to recruit more people to join the church. There were a lot of really sweet kids there. One, in particular, sat on my lap while eating his pizza just so that he could be around me more (he basically followed me around all night). And I was deeply moved by that.
I really don't know what's up with me now. I seem to have the urge to be a dad (someday). I don't want to have my own children -- even before I realized I was Trans, I wanted to adopt, because I don't think I could handle the pain of giving birth very well and I'd rather take care of a child already trying to survive in this messed-up world we're living in than bring another into it. But I want to help raise a child. And I want to be somebody's Transbrother -- somebody's older Transbrother. Maybe it's my desire to be needed and loved and appreciated like I need, love, and appreciate my own Chosen Family that drives me to want to raise children someday -- I don't know. All I do know is that one of the main goals that I had when I came out and began to do activism was to make a difference in the life (or lives) of someone (or some people) like me. I want to be for another what my Chosen Family (specifically the gender-variant members) are for me.
Is this urge to be a positive influence on someone younger a common thing, in y'all's experience?
But, last night, my dad, my stepmom, my stepbrother and I went to a church function where the purpose was to give people food and play games and watch a movie to try to recruit more people to join the church. There were a lot of really sweet kids there. One, in particular, sat on my lap while eating his pizza just so that he could be around me more (he basically followed me around all night). And I was deeply moved by that.
I really don't know what's up with me now. I seem to have the urge to be a dad (someday). I don't want to have my own children -- even before I realized I was Trans, I wanted to adopt, because I don't think I could handle the pain of giving birth very well and I'd rather take care of a child already trying to survive in this messed-up world we're living in than bring another into it. But I want to help raise a child. And I want to be somebody's Transbrother -- somebody's older Transbrother. Maybe it's my desire to be needed and loved and appreciated like I need, love, and appreciate my own Chosen Family that drives me to want to raise children someday -- I don't know. All I do know is that one of the main goals that I had when I came out and began to do activism was to make a difference in the life (or lives) of someone (or some people) like me. I want to be for another what my Chosen Family (specifically the gender-variant members) are for me.
Is this urge to be a positive influence on someone younger a common thing, in y'all's experience?
Thursday, February 15, 2007
#26 (aka: Ohhhh.... Massachusetts)
So, anybody who lives in Western Massachusetts (or the surrounding states) has to have noticed the incredibly large amount of snow that has accumulated today. I have decided to create a short compare/contrast project in honor (read: fury) of Massachusetts, and, of course, I had to mention some highlights (to make myself feel better). Enjoy.
Irritating: (part of my street)
Beautiful: (Cape Cod)
Ugly: (Samuel Hooper, a Republican businessman and US congressman who was from our state and worked here while he was alive (a long time ago))
DEFINITELY not that bad looking: (Melissa Ferrick)
Irritating: (part of my street)
Beautiful: (Cape Cod)
Ugly: (Samuel Hooper, a Republican businessman and US congressman who was from our state and worked here while he was alive (a long time ago))
DEFINITELY not that bad looking: (Melissa Ferrick)
Saturday, February 10, 2007
#25 (aka: Desperate for change)
I've got a new story this evening:
After the Trans Town Hall Meeting today at the MEF, I called my mother to ask her to come pick me up from Northampton. While I waited for her, I had time to go get a coffee at Starbucks and browse around at Pride and Joy. Despite the cold, I had a pretty good time, wandering around independently and experiencing NoHo as a freebird, of sorts.
My mother and I had planned when she dropped me off that we would meet back up in front of Faces, and then proceed home from there. I believe I waited out there in the cold for her for about 20 minutes. Yes, it was freezing, but I didn't want to miss her.
While I stood there waiting for her, I stood about 4 feet away from a homeless young woman, politely asking the complete strangers that passed her for any spare change. I think I gave her about 75 cents, and I felt good about that, even though I wished I could have done more. But there were other people who passed us on the sidewalk who infuriated me. The homeless woman would ask these people for change, and they would just pass right by her! Some of them didn't even look at her, and the ones who did seemed to see her as scum. It made me so angry. I wanted to hit some of them, especially the ones who didn't even glance her way. They acted like she wasn't even there, but I know they heard her -- it wasn't that noisy on that main stretch today. One teenage girl even swerved out of the way so that she could avoid the homeless woman. It was all so disrespectful. I couldn't believe that people could treat each other that way and not even give it a second thought. What kind of a society are we living in when people who obviously have enough money can't spend a little of it to help those who are significantly less fortunate?
And, you know, it did cross my mind at one point, since she was so calm, that she might just be doing a project for school or something, because Smith College is so close to where she was. But from the way she seemed so desperate for change, that thought left my mind almost as quickly as it entered.
See, I cannot very easily just walk past someone who is in the position that that homeless woman was in. I realize that I could be running the risk of being scammed by somebody who wants a couple extra bucks, but I try to not think about that -- instead, I like to think that I'm doing something to help these less fortunate people. I'm happy to help people like that woman, and, yes, I know that there's going to be a point when I'm relying on myself for income where I may have to walk past people like her. But that time is not right now, and maybe I'm too soft-hearted when it comes to seeing people like that asking as desperate a question as hers, but I know that passing by someone like her in the future will be really hard on me. I don't like to see others suffering, which is a major reason why I'm an activist.
I guess the most important part of this posting (for me) is that I have a question: Is there a point at which I should seriously take a step back and think twice about helping a seemingly well-meaning homeless person in broad daylight, where there appears to be little chance of my getting physically harmed? I don't feel right about not helping someone when I know I can, but I don't want to be taken advantage of. Where does one draw the line in situations like that?
After the Trans Town Hall Meeting today at the MEF, I called my mother to ask her to come pick me up from Northampton. While I waited for her, I had time to go get a coffee at Starbucks and browse around at Pride and Joy. Despite the cold, I had a pretty good time, wandering around independently and experiencing NoHo as a freebird, of sorts.
My mother and I had planned when she dropped me off that we would meet back up in front of Faces, and then proceed home from there. I believe I waited out there in the cold for her for about 20 minutes. Yes, it was freezing, but I didn't want to miss her.
While I stood there waiting for her, I stood about 4 feet away from a homeless young woman, politely asking the complete strangers that passed her for any spare change. I think I gave her about 75 cents, and I felt good about that, even though I wished I could have done more. But there were other people who passed us on the sidewalk who infuriated me. The homeless woman would ask these people for change, and they would just pass right by her! Some of them didn't even look at her, and the ones who did seemed to see her as scum. It made me so angry. I wanted to hit some of them, especially the ones who didn't even glance her way. They acted like she wasn't even there, but I know they heard her -- it wasn't that noisy on that main stretch today. One teenage girl even swerved out of the way so that she could avoid the homeless woman. It was all so disrespectful. I couldn't believe that people could treat each other that way and not even give it a second thought. What kind of a society are we living in when people who obviously have enough money can't spend a little of it to help those who are significantly less fortunate?
And, you know, it did cross my mind at one point, since she was so calm, that she might just be doing a project for school or something, because Smith College is so close to where she was. But from the way she seemed so desperate for change, that thought left my mind almost as quickly as it entered.
See, I cannot very easily just walk past someone who is in the position that that homeless woman was in. I realize that I could be running the risk of being scammed by somebody who wants a couple extra bucks, but I try to not think about that -- instead, I like to think that I'm doing something to help these less fortunate people. I'm happy to help people like that woman, and, yes, I know that there's going to be a point when I'm relying on myself for income where I may have to walk past people like her. But that time is not right now, and maybe I'm too soft-hearted when it comes to seeing people like that asking as desperate a question as hers, but I know that passing by someone like her in the future will be really hard on me. I don't like to see others suffering, which is a major reason why I'm an activist.
I guess the most important part of this posting (for me) is that I have a question: Is there a point at which I should seriously take a step back and think twice about helping a seemingly well-meaning homeless person in broad daylight, where there appears to be little chance of my getting physically harmed? I don't feel right about not helping someone when I know I can, but I don't want to be taken advantage of. Where does one draw the line in situations like that?
Thursday, February 8, 2007
#24 (aka: Irish sweetness)
This is a song off The Chieftains' CD "Tears of Stone" called "Jimmy Mo Mhile Stor". I'm falling in love with it quickly, and here are the lyrics to it (yes, the lyrics are in Gaelic or Old Irish or something, so the original lyrics are hard to understand, I know, but the translation is so beautiful):
Also, for your listening pleasure, here is a link where you can find an mp3 downloadable version of the version of this song that's on The Chieftains' CD:
http://mp3phoenix.net/en/Song-mp3-Jimmy-Mo-Mhile-Stor-The-Chieftains-The-Rankins/491293/
(Original)
Bliain an taca seo dimigh uaim run mo chleibh
Ni thiocfaidh se abhaile go dtabharfaidh se cursa an tsaoil
Nuair chifead e rithead le fuinneamh ro-ard ina chomhair
agus chludod le mil e, is e Jimmy mo mhile stor.
Bionn mo mhathair is mathair ag bearradh is ag bruion liom fein
taim giobaithe piocaithe, ciapaithe, craite de mshaol
Thugas taitneamh don duine ud dob aille sno
agus chuaigh se ar bord loinge, is e Jimmy mo mhile stor
Rachadsa chun coille agus caithfead ann an chuid eile de mshoal
san ait na beidh einne ag eisteacht le ceol na n-ean
ag bun an chrainn chaorthainn mar a bhfasann ann fear go leor
ag tabhart taitnamh don duine ud is e Jimmy mo mhile stor
(Translation)
My love he's gone from me, no fairer than him can be found,
He'll never return until he course the wide world around.
When I'll see my love coming I'll crown him with laurel all o'er,
He's the neatest of lovers called Jimmy mo mhíle stór.
My father and mother they never can give me ease
Since first my true love went from me to the seas,
I bear it with patience, shedding and sighing full sore,
Lamenting the fate of Jimmy, mo mhíle stór.
I'll got to the greenwood and spend there all of my time,
Where no man or mortal can ever disturb my mind,
Beneath the green willow I'll lament and sigh full sore,
And I'll wait on my pillow for Jimmy mo mhíle stór.
Also, for your listening pleasure, here is a link where you can find an mp3 downloadable version of the version of this song that's on The Chieftains' CD:
http://mp3phoenix.net/en/Song-mp3-Jimmy-Mo-Mhile-Stor-The-Chieftains-The-Rankins/491293/
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
#23 (aka: And this is the icing on the cake)
Using today's wonderful happenings as inspiration, I WROTE THE DAMN BALLAD!!!. Here! Read!
"Show"
You can't tell us that we're wrong
For trying to speak our minds
You're contradicting your own Act
And leaving all of us Behind
You don't really understand
To a point, neither do we
But we're not blind; we comprehend
Your eyes are open but don't see
Personally, it makes me sad
That you think we'd try to hurt
Someone you don't really know,
But that I've known since I wore skirts
You think that we're so stupid
You think we haven't grown
But we have heart and witnessed
More than you could ever know
You've got to have more faith in us
We have to make you "get"
That we are going to do great things --
You don't know the half of it yet
#22 (aka: Creating change)
Something amazing happened today in my English class.
We had a "discussion" (read: lecture) with the faculty about an incident that happened with an autistic student at our school. The vice principal is always saying how what our teachers and advisors are here to do is prepare us for the world outside of pioneer, and they say all the time that we're adults, but they treat us like we're in third grade, and that just isn't working anymore. Anyway... in my English class, we were supposed to watch some film about 9/11, but it didn't happen because we ended up talking about all the injustices that the administration were committing on us. And since they had a meeting where they were the only ones talking, we decided it's our turn to make them listen. so we're going to speak with our class representatives and then go to our own class supervisors/advisors (whatever they are) and plan a meeting where we tell our side to the people who haven't listened to us.
Since I started to be an activist on behalf of Trans people, I was under the impression that because no one in my school seemed to care, they didn't know (and could never know) what it's like to fight for something that you believe in with all your heart. And they might not see what happened today as monumental, but I do. Everybody always saw our class as the slackers, but we're going to change their minds. This is an incredible day.
We had a "discussion" (read: lecture) with the faculty about an incident that happened with an autistic student at our school. The vice principal is always saying how what our teachers and advisors are here to do is prepare us for the world outside of pioneer, and they say all the time that we're adults, but they treat us like we're in third grade, and that just isn't working anymore. Anyway... in my English class, we were supposed to watch some film about 9/11, but it didn't happen because we ended up talking about all the injustices that the administration were committing on us. And since they had a meeting where they were the only ones talking, we decided it's our turn to make them listen. so we're going to speak with our class representatives and then go to our own class supervisors/advisors (whatever they are) and plan a meeting where we tell our side to the people who haven't listened to us.
Since I started to be an activist on behalf of Trans people, I was under the impression that because no one in my school seemed to care, they didn't know (and could never know) what it's like to fight for something that you believe in with all your heart. And they might not see what happened today as monumental, but I do. Everybody always saw our class as the slackers, but we're going to change their minds. This is an incredible day.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
#21 (aka: The ballad of my poetic slump)
I was given a very interesting homework assignment in my AP Writing for Self-Expression (aka: Creative Writing) course today. Well, first let me explain about the assignment from the night before: our teacher asked us to find a song that we liked that was a "ballad", and she said it didn't have to be all lovey-dovey/mooshy-gooshy/heartwrenching, but it had to meet the "requirements" of being a ballad (like the last word of the second and fourth lines of each verse rhyming).
So, today, she told us to go home and write our own ballad. And this is where the problem comes up. See, I've written plenty of songs before, of the "ballad" type. So I shouldn't have a problem with this assignment, right? WRONG. I can't seem to write a ballad now that I know what it is and what the requirements are for it! It would appear that this teacher is committing creative sabotage on me, and I just don't appreciate it. Not one bit.
So, today, she told us to go home and write our own ballad. And this is where the problem comes up. See, I've written plenty of songs before, of the "ballad" type. So I shouldn't have a problem with this assignment, right? WRONG. I can't seem to write a ballad now that I know what it is and what the requirements are for it! It would appear that this teacher is committing creative sabotage on me, and I just don't appreciate it. Not one bit.
#20 (aka: I need permission to chill out)
I feel way too overwhelmed to be as young and new to activism as I am. I'm very proud to be "out" as a Trans youth at 17 -- I know that my feeling comfortable and strong enough to reveal this part of myself to me and those around me says a lot about my character and the people I prefer to be around. And I feel very fortunate to be able to do activism on behalf of this community. But everything is becoming so overpowering, that with graduation approaching, and even before that, the True Colors Conference. Don't get me wrong -- I'm really excited about all this stuff that will be happening in the next few months. But I feel so drained.
What I'd like to know is how people like Leslie Feinberg and Kate Bornstein (as well as any activists on here) are able to have such stamina in their activism and everything else they do and not go insane. Because, right now, with everything that I'm doing, I don't know how all you grown-ups don't land in the nut house with all the responsibility that comes with adulthood. If I'm feeling so... freaked out... right now, how am I ever going to make it when I'm living on my own?!
What I'd like to know is how people like Leslie Feinberg and Kate Bornstein (as well as any activists on here) are able to have such stamina in their activism and everything else they do and not go insane. Because, right now, with everything that I'm doing, I don't know how all you grown-ups don't land in the nut house with all the responsibility that comes with adulthood. If I'm feeling so... freaked out... right now, how am I ever going to make it when I'm living on my own?!
Sunday, February 4, 2007
#19 (aka: Ah, Mr. Mathers, you've hit the nail on the head)
Something weird has happened to my musical tastes lately: I have become a fan of Eminem. At this time last year, I would have thought, whatever. I don't really connect to the guy (and I still don't listen to artists whose lyrics I don't connect to). But I saw his movie "8 Mile" on VH1 one night a few weeks ago, and I realized through the struggle of the main character Rabbit (played by Eminem) that my own struggle isn't all that different from his. I think that "8 Mile" was rather autobiographical of Eminem's own life. Long story short, I have a lot of respect for him now.
My stepbrother has Eminem's album of hits called "Curtain Call". On it, there are two songs that really touch me. One is called "Like Toy Soldiers", which is about the importance of close friends and loyalty (in this case, I connected it to the brotherhood I feel with my Transdude friends). The other is called "When I'm Gone", and it is one of the two songs that he wrote on this album for his daughter (the other is "Mockingbird"). This song is special to me because it's about how much you need to value the people who you love and who you'd give your life for because you never know when they might be gone. If you have a chance, I suggest listening to these songs if you have any opportunity to. And if you want to, here are some links to the lyrics of "Like Toy Soldiers" and "When I'm Gone" so that you can read what I think is so profound about those songs:
"Like Toy Soldiers" -- http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/liketoysoldiers.html
"When I'm Gone" -- http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/whenimgone.html
And here's a link about "8 Mile", if you've got extra online time on your hands:
"8 Mile" -- http://www.8-mile.com/
My stepbrother has Eminem's album of hits called "Curtain Call". On it, there are two songs that really touch me. One is called "Like Toy Soldiers", which is about the importance of close friends and loyalty (in this case, I connected it to the brotherhood I feel with my Transdude friends). The other is called "When I'm Gone", and it is one of the two songs that he wrote on this album for his daughter (the other is "Mockingbird"). This song is special to me because it's about how much you need to value the people who you love and who you'd give your life for because you never know when they might be gone. If you have a chance, I suggest listening to these songs if you have any opportunity to. And if you want to, here are some links to the lyrics of "Like Toy Soldiers" and "When I'm Gone" so that you can read what I think is so profound about those songs:
"Like Toy Soldiers" -- http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/liketoysoldiers.html
"When I'm Gone" -- http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/whenimgone.html
And here's a link about "8 Mile", if you've got extra online time on your hands:
"8 Mile" -- http://www.8-mile.com/
Saturday, February 3, 2007
#18 (aka: Busy E)
I am going to be one busy Transguy this next week. Today, at 11:30, I am meeting with a student from Yale University School of Nursing to have an interview with her about Transgender Health Care (or, lack thereof). And I'm getting paid for it... that's always a plus. ;-D
Moving right along, there's church tomorrow and then school, and next Friday a few of my fellow Chorus members and I are singing an arrangement of the Beatles song "Golden Slumbers" at our instructor's birthday party in a church at Smith College in Northampton. The next day, the 10th, I'm going to be back in Northampton to a) meet up with my new Transdude friend Bet and b) to attend what is being called a Transgender Town Hall Meeting, where we'll be discussing the new anti-discrimination law for people of gender-variance in Massachusetts, which our brilliant (and Democratic and liberal) new governor Deval Patrick has stated he wants to pass. There are supposedly going to be some representatives from the legislature there to answer our questions and such, and those of us who want to will be able to speak on behalf of ourselves and our Trans friends, who really want this act to be signed into law, as well. It's time for us Transgender folk to make change not only in our individual communities, but all throughout the state. And I feel privileged to be alive to see this change happening.
But, all the hustle and bustle does not stop at the end of this week. On the weekend of February 23, there's a small chance that I may be performing with Athens Boys Choir. ABC (in case you forgot, or haven't seen my post about him on Little Bits) is a spoken word poet out of Georgia whom I met over the summer, and who helped me out when I sent him some interview questions for my senior project. In short, he's a pretty cool Trannyboy.
In the second week of March (if my school's principal doesn't give me a hard time about it) a couple of my Transbrothers (and one of their girlfriends) are going to come speak with me in a presentation for my senior project in English class. The three of them are going to be staying for 2 or 3 days at my mom's house, so that should be fun. I don't get to see them a lot (well, they do live in Georgia, after all), and "a lot" is an understatement because I haven't seen either of them in almost a year (since the True Colors Conference last year), and I've never met the girlfriend, but I've heard wonderful things about her.
And speaking of True Colors... the week after my T-bros come from Georgia to speak with me, TCC 2007 happens. Which reminds me, I need to figure out exactly what I'm going to say. (Peterson, we really do need to talk about this. Your man Elliot here needs some serious mentoring on the subject).
So, if I'm not able to post long entries like this for a while, I'm sorry. But at least you'll know why!
Moving right along, there's church tomorrow and then school, and next Friday a few of my fellow Chorus members and I are singing an arrangement of the Beatles song "Golden Slumbers" at our instructor's birthday party in a church at Smith College in Northampton. The next day, the 10th, I'm going to be back in Northampton to a) meet up with my new Transdude friend Bet and b) to attend what is being called a Transgender Town Hall Meeting, where we'll be discussing the new anti-discrimination law for people of gender-variance in Massachusetts, which our brilliant (and Democratic and liberal) new governor Deval Patrick has stated he wants to pass. There are supposedly going to be some representatives from the legislature there to answer our questions and such, and those of us who want to will be able to speak on behalf of ourselves and our Trans friends, who really want this act to be signed into law, as well. It's time for us Transgender folk to make change not only in our individual communities, but all throughout the state. And I feel privileged to be alive to see this change happening.
But, all the hustle and bustle does not stop at the end of this week. On the weekend of February 23, there's a small chance that I may be performing with Athens Boys Choir. ABC (in case you forgot, or haven't seen my post about him on Little Bits) is a spoken word poet out of Georgia whom I met over the summer, and who helped me out when I sent him some interview questions for my senior project. In short, he's a pretty cool Trannyboy.
In the second week of March (if my school's principal doesn't give me a hard time about it) a couple of my Transbrothers (and one of their girlfriends) are going to come speak with me in a presentation for my senior project in English class. The three of them are going to be staying for 2 or 3 days at my mom's house, so that should be fun. I don't get to see them a lot (well, they do live in Georgia, after all), and "a lot" is an understatement because I haven't seen either of them in almost a year (since the True Colors Conference last year), and I've never met the girlfriend, but I've heard wonderful things about her.
And speaking of True Colors... the week after my T-bros come from Georgia to speak with me, TCC 2007 happens. Which reminds me, I need to figure out exactly what I'm going to say. (Peterson, we really do need to talk about this. Your man Elliot here needs some serious mentoring on the subject).
So, if I'm not able to post long entries like this for a while, I'm sorry. But at least you'll know why!
Friday, February 2, 2007
#17 (aka: Friday good grades gladness)
Oh, I’m a happy Transdude this afternoon. I just found out that I made high honors second quarter! Many woots! Here are the results of my report card that led to that wonderful conclusion being proclaimed:
Eng 12A – B
Math Workshop – A
Contemporary Issues – A
Digital Art – A-
HS Chorus – A
First Aid – A
Phys. Ed. 11/12 – A
Again, many woots! :-D
Eng 12A – B
Math Workshop – A
Contemporary Issues – A
Digital Art – A-
HS Chorus – A
First Aid – A
Phys. Ed. 11/12 – A
Again, many woots! :-D
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